MRSA....mmmm...the plague of sweaty wrestlers and college students across the country. Brace has somehow contracted this yummy of an infection. It doesn't seem to be scaring him. I on the other hand, am terrified. I don't think he realizes how difficult it is to get rid of. After one round of antibiotics it has only gotten bigger. Dermatologists across the entire tri-state area have been forwarded photos of his fore arm. They are currently staring in shock and aw at the strange strain of this bacteria growing healthily on his arm, around his knuckles, and (brace yourself) now it has spread to a most unpleasant area...that's right folks...his usually pristine penis. Unfortunate for him. Devastating for me. And I will tell you why.
Its not just the obvious no sex or you'll contract a violent strain of bacteria and have a devil of a time getting rid of it thing. Its the my best friend just relayed a steamy sex story via text message and now I am left wishing it were me but it wont be me for months due to the no sex or you'll contract a violent strain of bacteria and have a devil of a time getting rid of it thing. Phew. That was a mouthful...the only one I'm getting for a looonnnggg time if ya know what I mean.
Stella's story was a doozey too. A real hum-fucking-dinger. A passionate session with her wonderful boyfriend, Davis, steam upon steam, sweat upon sweat, all culminating in my best friend being pleasured to the point which rivals all others. She literally came for 3 full minutes. Is that like a medical miracle or something?! Maybe not, but I know one thing. It certainly isn't fair! Of course I am pleased as punch for Stella. She absolutely deserves it. Finally, the universe has aligned and God has answered my prayers. She has found someone who makes her as happy as Brace makes me. It is all I have ever wanted for her. A life time of love and happiness. And steamy stories to share over hot tea and reruns of whatever show we are obsessed with at the time. But still, why God, why are you punishing ME via my boyfriend's diseased penis?
Which leads to my final thought. No matter what may come our way, whether it be arguments, money issues, or a bubbling penis of fire, I am still more happy with Brace than I ever could have imagined I would be with anyone. And even if I don't have any steamy stories to share for now, I still have him. And I still have the most wonderful best friend who will be with me to the end, be it bitter or sweet, with or without any sexy stories to share. Although...if I had to guess...there is plenty more where the story of the the 3 minute orgasm came from :) And life, is looking good.
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